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Dr. Kalinda Rose Stevenson
Gratitude For What Is, Right Now
“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
G. K. Chesterton
Of all of the holidays in our calendar, both civic and religious, Thanksgiving Day brings together all of the essential elements of being “Abundantly Alive Now!” We all understand the connection between Thanksgiving and abundance as we sit down to eat enormous feasts. What intrigues me is the connection between Thanksgiving and time, and how this connection affects what it means to be fully “alive.” Thanksgiving Day is the holiday that celebrates the “Now” in a unique way. Read more
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Are You Doing Business With Monopoly Money?
“People with a scarcity mentality tend to see everything in terms of win-lose. There is only so much; and if someone else has it, that means there will be less for me. The more principle-centered we become, the more we develop an abundance mentality, the more we are genuinely happy for the successes, well-being, achievements, recognition, and good fortune of other people. We believe their success adds to…rather than detracts from…our lives.”
Stephen R. Covey
During the depths of the Great Depression, the Monopoly® game appeared in the marketplace. For many American children, Monopoly is the first introduction to using money for business decisions. Monopoly teaches players to buy and sell property, collect and pay rents. The game is fun, especially for the winners. My question is, Are the lessons you learned playing Monopoly killing your capacity to make real money in your business? Read more
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How To Find All The Money You Need For Your Real Estate Investing
“Expect your every need to be met. Expect the answer to every problem, expect abundance on every level.”
Eileen Caddy
Would you like to buy investment real estate? What is stopping you? Is it the money to get started?
If you are like most people, you think that the way to get enough money to buy a property is to go to a bank and apply for a mortgage. Read more
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Ready Or Not, Here I Come!
“Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Is there something you say you want to do…but you are not doing it? What is stopping you from doing it?
I had a telephone conversation recently with a potential coaching client. She said she wanted to start investing in real estate. I asked what was stopping her. She responded, “Fear.” I told her that I don’t believe fear stops us as much as we claim it does.
”Fear!” as the answer to the question, “What is stopping you from doing what you say you what to do?” is a cliché. It is an automatic first response, deeply conditioned into us in our self-help culture. We have heard that fear is an acronym, “False evidence appearing real.” But after saying, “Fear!,” what comes next? Fear of what? Where do you go with that declaration?
A few years ago, I took several screenwriting courses. One of my teachers made the comment, “When you are writing a screenplay, never take the first idea that comes into your head.” He said that the first thought is always going to be a cliché. We have seen or heard it a hundred times before in movies. He told us to go deeper. He urged us to go beyond the cliché to find something authentic.
I asked my potential client some more questions to get to a more authentic response. Her answers revealed a belief that the only way she could make money in real estate would be at the expense of other people. She considers herself a good person who doesn’t want to take advantage of others. This is valuable information and lies several steps beyond the automatic response, “I’m not investing in real estate because I’m afraid.”
I just retrieved a book from my bookshelf with the astounding title, We’ve Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy and the World’s Gotten Worse. It is one of the most provocative books I have ever read. (And I have just reminded myself that it is time to reread it.)
The core idea of the book is that psychotherapy has taught us to look inside ourselves for our weaknesses and pathologies, with the idea that we have to fix ourselves before we can act in the world. In other words, psychotherapy teaches us that we have to “get ready” before we act.
“The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.”
George Bernard Shaw
I suspect that the sense that “I am not ready” stops us at least as much as “I am afraid.” Therapy teaches us to look for our flaws, to tend to our wounded inner children, to name the addictions that we are powerless to overcome. We cannot possibly act powerfully in the big scary outer world when we consider ourselves frightened children on the inside.
The same dynamic occurs in education. Because I come from an academic background, I saw again and again the ways that academics stop themselves from action by the belief that they are not ready. There is always one more book to read first.
And if you are a seminar junkie the way I am, “getting ready” means you have to take one more seminar, buy one more book, work with one more coach, and then you will be ready to act. Except that getting ready to take action is not the same as taking action.
One of the most valuable conversations I ever had was with a professor at the University of California in Berkeley. I had just passed my doctoral oral exam and he was a member of my committee. He was also one of the most brilliant and “street-smart” academics I have ever met, with an impressive resume of published books and articles behind him. I went to his office to ask him a question. The question was, “What do I need to know to write and finish my dissertation?”
I knew the statistics. 85% of doctoral students in the humanities who pass their doctoral oral exams never finish their dissertations. They become permanent ABDs (“All But Dissertation”) for the rest of their lives.
The professor said, “Most people who reach the point of writing a doctoral dissertation know enough, work hard enough, and are smart enough to finish. But everything they hear is, you don’t know enough, you don’t work hard enough, and you’re not smart enough. And so they never finish.”
Those words impressed me deeply. I went home and wrote the question, “What is enough?” on an index card and taped it to the wall behind my desk. During the months I worked on writing the dissertation, that question brought me back on track again and again. And I am convinced that the fundamental reason that I did write and finish my doctoral dissertation was because I kept asking myself, “What is enough?”
This question, “What is enough?” will liberate you from the belief that being “ready” means you have to know everything and be like Mary Poppins, “practically perfect in every way,” before you act.
“The whole idea of motivation is a trap. Forget motivation. Just do it. Exercise, lose weight, test your blood sugar, or whatever. Do it without motivation. And then, guess what? After you start doing the thing, that’s when the motivation comes and makes it easy for you to keep on doing it.”
John Maxwell
Yesterday, I played hide and seek with my granddaughter. Even played with a four year old, whose idea of hiding is to hide behind the same tree each time, the game has a great phrase, suitable for putting on an index card and taping to your wall: “Ready or Not, Here I Come.” The truth is, you can’t do anything by getting ready to do it. The only way to do it is to do it.
This article was originally published November 8, 2005.
http://www.abundantlyalivenow.com/archive/AANN-2005-11-08.htm
WARNING: BEFORE YOU INVEST IN REAL ESTATE…
FREE “No Money Limits Consumer Guide to Real Estate Investor Training.”
www.nomoneylimits.com
© 2005 Kalinda Rose Stevenson, Ph.D.
Debt or Alive, Inc.
2248 Meridian Blvd. Suite H
Minden, NV 89423
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Are You Working Too Hard To Get Anything Done?
“There are advantages to putting in longer hours. You often get more done, for a start. Countries that work longer, such as Canada, Britain, and the U.S. have racked up higher economic growth in recent years. But when the work ethic turns workaholic, there is a price to pay. Productivity falls, absenteeism rises, and the bottom line suffers. Something else, something deeper, also gets lost in the dash to keep up-quality of life.”
Carl Honoré
enRoute Magazine
Air Canada
On Canadian Thanksgiving Day, I read a provocative article on a flight on Air Canada between Vancouver and San Francisco. The article was written by Carl Honoré, author of the book, In Praise of Slow: How a Worldwide Movement Is Challenging the Cult of Speed. (The book is published as In Praise of Slowness in the United States.)
The particular aspect of the article that I want to focus on is the connection between speed and productivity.
Many of us, especially those of us who are entrepreneurs, or attempting to become entrepreneurs, get caught up in a frantic rush to do more and more, faster and faster. The inevitable consequence of trying to go faster and faster is that quality gets lost.
“When we speed around, are we mastering our life or hanging on for dear life?”
The Sakyong, Jamgön Mipham Rinpoche
Have you ever had the experience of rushing to do something? It seems that the more you rush, the more likely you are to make mistakes.
As a college student, I had a summer job on an assembly line, one of about 20 female college students hired to box glittery greeting cards. It was without question the worst job I ever had. We lined up beside a conveyer belt, in front of a wall of windows in an old factory building without air conditioning. We were divided into groups. The first group put boxes on the belt. The second group were supposed to count out twenty envelopes and put them in the boxes. The third group were supposed to count twenty cards and add them to the boxes with the envelopes. And the fourth group put the tops on the boxes.
Meanwhile, the sun glared into the windows behind us, as the temperature rose past one hundred degrees. We worked continuously for one hour and fifteen minutes intervals. Then the conveyor belt would stop and we could rest for a few minutes.
It wasn’t so bad as long as the belt moved slowly enough that we could accurately count out twenty envelopes or cards. The quality problem started when a supervisor decided that we were not filling enough boxes per hour. And so he increased the speed of the belt. It reached the point where empty boxes were going by so fast that it was impossible to count anything. At that point, my sister workers and I began simply plopping fistfuls of cards or envelopes into the boxes whizzing past. It became a joke and a game. I remember the gleeful statements of the girl next to me as she tossed cards into the boxes flying by. “There’s another box of cards for a happy housewife.”
Before too long, the same supervisor who cranked up the speed of the conveyor belt stood before us and harangued us. He said that spot inspections of the boxes showed that every single box had the wrong number of envelopes and cards.
That was a vivid example of the truth that faster is not always better. Working faster to get more done usually results in more mistakes. Frantic mode is error mode.
The “Slow Movement” is a worldwide reaction to our obsession with speed. It started 17 years ago in Italy with the “Slow Food” movement.
“Slow Food aims to be everything fast food is not. It’s slow – in the making and the eating. It’s fresh – not processed. It’s from neighborhood farms and stores – not from industrial growers such as Tyson Foods (TSN) or retail goliaths such as Wal-Mart (WMT).”
Jim Hopkins, USA TODAY
http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/food/2003-11-25-slowfood_x.htm
Slow Food is a conscious rebellion against “fast food,” that heavily processed stuff that has become the way many of us eat many of our meals.
I was in Vancouver for a seminar. At lunch time, several hundred of us invaded the food court of the shopping mall next door to the seminar hotel. We had only time enough to buy some of the “fast food,” eat it quickly, and rush back to our seminar room. Fast food is everywhere. In schools, hospitals, airports, shopping malls, and on every city block. Slow food is much harder to find. And it is even harder to allow ourselves the time to eat it slowly.
The Slow Food movement has expanded to become the “Slow Movement.”
“These days, many of us live in fast forward – and pay a heavy price for it. Our work, health and relationships suffer. Over-stimulated, over-scheduled and overwrought, we struggle to relax, to enjoy things properly, to spend time with family and friends. The Slow movement offers a lifeline. It is not a Luddite plot to abolish all things modern. You don’t have to shun technology, live in the wilderness or do everything at a snail’s pace. Being “Slow” means living better in the hectic modern world by striking a balance between fast and slow. In Praise of Slow is the first handbook for the emerging Slow movement. Through a blend of anecdote, reportage, first-hand experience, history and intellectual inquiry, it explains how the world got so fast and why slowing down can pay dividends in every walk of life.”
Carl Honoré
http://www.inpraiseofslow.com/book.htm
One of the dividends of slowing down is that creativity seems to thrive at slow speed.
Overwork is the enemy of creative thinking. The latest brain research confirms that the best way to get the creative juices flowing is to relax.
Carl Honoré
enRoute Magazine
Air Canada
Our creative minds do best when we are relaxed and have time. All of us have had the experience of being stuck on a problem and then having the idea pop into our minds after we wake up or while we are doing something else.
Ask yourself how relaxed you are in your work. Are you attempting to do more and more? How much do you get accomplished that way? And how creative are you when you are working too hard and trying to do too much?
These are very real questions for me. Each morning, my husband and I sit down for our morning meeting. We talk about what we have scheduled for that day and what we would like to accomplish. And each day, our lists include more items than any two people can possibly accomplish. The next morning, many of the same items remain undone on our lists. And so we sit down again feeling that we are not making progress fast enough. And each day we add more items to our lists.
6th century Christian theology identified 7 deadly sins: pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sadness. In the 17th century, “sadness” was replaced by “sloth.” “Sloth” is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work. Frantic overwork didn’t make the list. Yet for many of us in the 21st century, working too much is a bigger problem than working too little.
“Make haste slowly.”
Benjamin Franklin
The creative solution to productivity is to make haste slowly, not working harder and longer. I speak for myself when I say that writing down too many items on my to-do list is counter-productive. I intend to follow my own counsel and make a shorter list tomorrow. I invite you to slow down with me to work less and accomplish more.
And while you’re at it, here’s a song you can sing to celebrate slowing down.
“Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy.
Hello lamppost,
What cha knowing?
I’ve come to watch your flowers growing.
Ain’t cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in’ doo-doo,
Feelin’ groovy.
Got no deeds to do,
No promises to keep.
I’m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.”
Simon & Garfunkel › The 59th Street Bridge Song
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/simon-and-garfunkel/124694.html
This article was originally published October 11, 2005.
http://www.abundantlyalivenow.com/archive/AANN-2005-10-11.htm
WARNING: BEFORE YOU INVEST IN REAL ESTATE…
FREE “No Money Limits Consumer Guide to Real Estate Investor Training.”
www.nomoneylimits.com
© 2005 Kalinda Rose Stevenson, Ph.D.
Debt or Alive, Inc.
2248 Meridian Blvd. Suite H
Minden, NV 89423
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Buying The American Dream
“No man acquires property without acquiring with it a little arithmetic also.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have a question for you…and it’s not a trick question. Here’s a hypothetical situation.
You have the opportunity to buy an investment property. The property is perfectly located, well-priced, in move-in condition. You have outstanding credit and you have enough money to pay the down payment and pay the mortgage. You already have several potential renters, all with excellent credit and references. You can charge enough rent to cover all of the expenses of the property and leave you with money left over.
My question is, Do you buy the property?
If you are like many real estate investors, especially beginning investors, you will probably jump at the opportunity. Of course you will buy the property! And you will celebrate your good fortune at finding such an outstanding deal.
My next question is, Is buying this property really the best investment strategy? Or to be more precise, is buying ANY property the best investment strategy?
“Sometimes your best investments are the ones you don’t make.”
Donald Trump
You might be saying, “How else do I invest in real estate if I don’t buy property? What other options are there?” The short answer is that successful real estate investors know that controlling property is often a far better option than buying it. But before considering other ways of controlling property without buying it, let’s go back to the compelling lure of buying real estate.
“Property is the fruit of labor; property is desirable; it is a positive good in the world.”
Abraham Lincoln
The “American dream” always includes owning your own home. One of the great divisions in our society is the division between owners and renters. When you apply for credit, you are faced with the inevitable question: “Do you rent or own?” Credit agencies give higher ranking to home owners than tenants. As a homeowner, you also have tax advantages that renters do not have. You can deduct mortgage interest on your income tax.
Home ownership also carries emotional benefits. With your own home, you have the freedom to do what you want with your property. You don’t have to ask a landlord for permission to paint your house. You can hang pictures on the wall anywhere you want. You don’t have to worry about a nosy landlord snooping around. Your home is your own.
According to the American dream ideal, renters fall short of the American dream. You are paying to live in someone else’s property. Your home is not your own. Leaving aside all of the other limitations of renting rather than owning, renters live with a subtle social stigma. Even if no one ever says it out loud, the “American Dream” teaches us that successful people own their own homes and unsuccessful people rent.
The economy and hot real estate markets of recent years have added two additional elements to this formidable social urge toward homeownership as the ideal of the American Dream.
In recent years, we have had two strong and somewhat contradictory trends. One trend has made it easier for renters to become homeowners. With low interest rate mortgages available, banks have loaned money to people who would never have qualified for mortgages in earlier years. With “no document” loans and “stated income” loans available, former renters have been transformed into homeowners.
We have all seen pictures and news clips of smiling people standing in front of their own homes-homes they would never have been able to afford without special programs for first-time homebuyers. They now own their little piece of the American Dream.
At the same time, in hot real estate markets, prices have risen much faster than incomes. Owning a home becomes a carrot on a stick for people who want to buy but cannot afford the high costs associated with buying. These frustrated want-to-be homeowners cannot make the magical transition from renters to homeowners. We have also seen stories and pictures of these people and seen their unsmiling faces as they complain about how they cannot buy into the American Dream.
My point is that we live in a society that has taught us that buying a house is a goal worth almost any amount of money and sacrifice.
“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.”
Ellen Goodman
Now let’s say that you have done it. You have bought your own home. You have achieved a major goal of the American Dream. What comes next?
The same real estate market that has turned some tenants into homeowners at the same time it has prevented other tenants from buying homes, has also attracted thousands and thousands of people into real estate investing. Real estate investing offers the promise of the next step in the American Dream. If buying your own home is Goal #1 of the American Dream, buying investment property is Goal #2. If owning one house is good, buying more houses is even better.
“No man but feels more of a man in the world if he have a bit of ground that he can call his own. However small it is on the surface, it is four thousand miles deep; and that is a very handsome property.”
Charles Dudley Warner
This is real success. You know you have “made it” when you not only own your own home, you can own the homes of renters who have not managed to grab their little piece of the American Dream. You are not only a home owner, you are the owner of investment properties.
And this is the place where the American Dream for homeowners can easily turn into the American nightmare for real estate investors. It all comes down to the unexamined assumption that buying real estate is the only way to invest in real estate.
Too many beginning real estate investors leave their real estate seminars and go out to buy investment property as if they were buying their own homes. They use their own money and their own credit, and scramble to buy property they cannot really afford without understanding what successful investors know about investing.
“Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them.”
Robert Green Ingersoll
For example, on Sunday, as I sat in yet another real estate seminar, in a too-cold hotel meeting room, I listened to a phone call to a woman who wanted to sell her house. She had bought it last spring as investment property with a 95% loan. She said she had overpaid for the property. She had already put in thousands of dollars of repairs. And her intended lease-optioner had backed out at the last minute. Now the owner-investor was over the proverbial barrel, with no rent to cover her expenses, a mortgage payment due, and a real estate market that is softening. She has tried to sell the property, but has no takers. At the same time, she insisted that she has $30,000 of equity in the property and wants to get all of her equity back in a sale. It was clear that she has no idea of the costs involved in selling a property.
Without going into more details of her situation and the solution that was being offered to her, I want to make the point that she was in big trouble because she had bought an overpriced investment property she could not afford, with her own money and her own credit, without counting the costs involved.
The root of her problem was her unexamined assumption that the way to make money in real estate is to BUY real estate the same way she would buy her own house. What she didn’t know was that there are ways to control investment real estate without buying it. Sometimes, buying investment property makes sense. And sometimes, not buying it makes more sense.
If your plans for creating abundance include investing in real estate, you can increase your potential for success by learning to think the way successful investors think. This process includes examining various homeowner and consumer assumptions about money and real estate. The first assumption to examine is the belief that making money in real estate requires you to buy real estate.
This article was originally published November 1, 2005.
http://www.abundantlyalivenow.com/archive/AANN-2005-11-01.htm
HOW TO IDENTIFY THE MINDSET DIFFERENCES BETWEEN CONSUMERS AND REAL ESTATE INVESTORS
FREE 6-part ecourse: “How To Lift the Consumer Money Mindset Lid off Your Real Estate Investing.” The course is available www.nomoneylimits.com
© 2005 Kalinda Rose Stevenson, Ph.D.
Debt or Alive, Inc.
2248 Meridian Blvd. Suite H
Minden, NV 89423
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